Why is it that as a society we tend to look down on a stay at home mom or dad, but it is perfectly normal for both parents to work, so their kids can have the best of everything&..everything, but their parents time or guidance? I realize that in this economy, if we want to keep up with the Jones, per say, that both parents have to work; but take a look around at our children. Is what they gain in material goods, worth what they lose in parental guidance love and safety? I realize that Im walking a really fine line here, and probably a good percentage of you, would like to push me over the edge already, but think about it. Think about how much you learned at your mom/dads knee or even grandparents side, talking about things you didnt realize were all that important at the time, that have stayed with you through out you life. Were losing those times, that take place during casual chats that you have no way of scheduling into your busy day. You cant really set a time aside for those casual observations about life; because they only work, when youre both feeling quiet and comfortable with each other, and not trying to hurry and tell each other every thing that has happened since youve last seen each other. I wont even mention all the lessons we learn by example. I dont want my children ever thinking, their less important then some job Im running off to every day; and why? To pay for one more vehicle, so we can squeeze in even more activities. Activities&&&&..what ever happened to life? Who is accountable for teaching our children values? Is it our over-worked, underpaid teachers responsibility? How are they going to teach their overcrowded classrooms, with males, females, and different cultures how unique and valuable each and every one of them is with so little time? Their job is to educate our children, not discipline them. Other than the very basics; how are they supposed to try and teach them family values that are different within each family? That doesnt even take into consideration the difference of cultures, religions, and race. Does enrolling our children in after school activities such as sports, scouts, dance, etc., take the place of them knowing that when they have a problem, there is a parent actually at home they can talk to? Doesnt anyone notice how stressed our children have become? Im not putting down after school activities, but when they become so important that it interferes with time to study, time to play, time to just be&.then I have a problem with it. Since when did sitting in front of a TV or a computer playing games for hours; become substitutes for physical healthy activity? I realize at this point that this is a relatively negative article, but we need to take some time and think about the direction that our child rearing trends are moving. I dont believe that capital punishment should be allowed in schools, but there has to be some form of discipline to take its place. We have classrooms where kids are in charge, and the teachers cant teach in that environment. They have to have the support of the parents. Having been a survivor child abuse I most certainly dont believe in hurting or abusing a child but there has to be discipline in a home, rules, and the most important, respect for other people. Children cant be expected to discipline themselves, they arent little adults, they are children, and should be allowed to be children.
If children are not taught self control, fair play, self sacrifice, moral values, then we end up with adults, that know nothing of those concepts, who go on to conceive another generation of the same. Just as a quick example, what does it show our children about fair play and self control when at a childs game the parents of two children get into a knock down, drag out fight over a referee call? If I need to say anymore than that, then youve missed the whole point of the article. It isnt going to work if one or two families finally get it. We as a society need to get our act tog to the point that having two income families becomes a necessity not a choice. It is us, the parents, who will have to come together to combat this trend. I was home most of the time during the time my kids were growing up. It wasn’t by choice however, I had become disabled. It was probably one of the best things that ever happened to my kids and me.. Not the fact that I got sick, but the fact that I was home. Now they are grown, they’ve told me many times, how glad they were I was home, how secure they felt always knowing they had someone to talk to. For that matter, a lot of their friends chose to come to our house after school. I can’t count the times, they would sit in a circle around my recliner, and we would talk about school, girlfriends or boyfriends, and dating There so many subjects, I can’t remember them all, but I do remember the feeling of being connected to what was going on with my kids. Until now, I didn’t realize how fortunate I was to be allowed into their inner world. They were and still are great kids, and although my own and those informally adopted, have scattered further away now they are older. They all know, that “mom” is still just a phone call away.

About the Author

I am a 45 y.o. female residing in Nebraska. I have two grown sons. I started my career as a RN but had to retire after ten years due to complications from childhood injuries. I am now working as an artist/author. I maintain a blogspot to talk about the book I have published called CINDY WHEN HELL FROZE OVER at www.mdmkay.blogspot.com, and an art portfolio at www.artwanted.com/mdmkay which showcases my oil, acrylic, and digital artwork.