Perhaps you are like many of the people I talk to who have moved on from the stress of the holidays and are now feeling the stress of everyday life. Would you really like to reduce or even eliminate some of the stress rather than just “manage” it? Would you like a healthier, happier life?

Stress is epidemic in our country. Norman Cousins, author of Anatomy of an Illness said that “stress is the most serious medical problem of our time.” Chronic stress releases dangerous stress hormones and shuts down our immune system. Stress plays a major role in most illnesses including cancer, heart disease, fibromyalgia, migraines, gastrointestinal problems, arthritis and many more. Stress related symptoms are the reason for 90% of doctor office visits. Stress kills.

If you are like me, you have probably taken at least one of those “stress tests.” You know, the kind where you check off all of the possible life stressors you have experienced and then realize you have checked most of them. Then what? Do we just wait to get sick? What are we supposed to do about it?

Most of the people I talk to say that the stress management strategies suggested to them include exercise, nutrition, yoga, meditation, relaxation, deep breathing, and perhaps a hot bath.

What if I told you that NONE of these will help you reduce or eliminate your stress? They all may be helpful in boosting immune function, clearing the mind, or developing physical fitness. But they will provide, at most, momentary relief from the ongoing problem of chronic stress.

WHY? Because stress is EMOTION that results from LIFE EVENTS. An event happens, we interpret it, we generate emotion. Stressful emotions include fear, worry, anxiety, anger, rage, grief, hurt, shame. Emotions eat at us. They make us sick. Stressful LIFE EVENTS include relationship problems, life/work balance problems, career issues, parenting problems, life issues around purpose and priorities, financial problems, and many more.

If we have financial problems, we worry about retirement, the mortgage, the 401k, just paying the bills. We ruminate about the worst that could happen. We fear possible losses. We develop anxiety and ulcers. Existing illness worsens.

If we feel angry about past events, our parents or our former spouse, we think about the injustices, we fan the flames. We ruminate, become resentful and bitter. Dangerous stress hormones pour into our system. We develop heart disease or gastrointestinal problems.

Of course it’s always easier to run to the gym and work out, rather than run home and work out our problems.

It’s easier to sit in the corner by ourselves and meditate, rather than sit at the financial counselor’s office and struggle to work out a budget.

What can you do? Gather your courage and identify and face the specific issues that are causing the stress in your life. You can reduce stress, enhance relationships, simplify your life and feel healthier and happier.

Follow these four steps to live a healthier, happier life.

1.Identify the source of the problem.

2.Decide what needs to be done to resolve the problem.

3.Develop a step-by-step plan to achieve the desired goal.

4.Follow through one step at a time.

If you need help with any of the steps, get it. There are excellent resources in the area to help you with any problem that may be causing you stress. Determine for 2004 to begin a new life with less stress and more fun.

About the Author

©Pat Swan, M.S., Life and Relationship Coach, http://www.RelationshipSkillville.com . Pat is a speaker, and author of “Watch Out! Your Relationships Can Be Hazardous to Your Health,” available at http:// www.StopRelationshipStress.com . Stop relationship stress and discover secret remedies for better health. Mailto:pat@patswan.com . PH: 262-642-5706.