Singles frequently complain to me that *all* men or *all* women are...well, they don't use a very flattering description. Another version of this is, "There are no good men or women left." Or its cousins, "There are no good men or women where I live," and "Where do I find good men or women?"

My response is that we bring into our lives a reflection of what we believe and focus on. We are only able to see what we believe we will see. The belief comes first and then the reality. If you subscribe to any version of the above, you will make yourself right and create your experience accordingly.

Let me give you a simple example of what it's like to see what you focus on. When you admire or want a certain type of car, don't you see it everywhere? All those cars were there before
you focused on them, never noticed by you. Your desire or admiration makes them more visible over other cars.

Now here's an example of seeing what you believe you will see. If you are expecting someone to be angry or unpleasant, don't they end up being that way? Perhaps they were not angry at all, or not angry at you. If you had no expectation of their behavior, would they behave the same?

The issue is not about what types of singles are in your community or whether there are any good men or women left. It is not about men and women out there at all, because you don't need many men or women to be a particular way. What you want and need is one compatible partner. And this one partner is waiting for you to change your belief about what you will see and make him or her visible to you.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2002. Do you know how to attract your ideal mate? Do you know how to build a fulfilling relationship, or how to reinvent yours to meet your needs? Relationship Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true love magnet(tm)!"

About the Author

Having coined the phrase "relationship coach," Master Certified Coach Rinatta Paries works with singles to help them attract their ideal relationship, and helps couples create more love and fulfillment in their existing relationships. Visit her web site at www.WhatItTakes.com or e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com.